This year has been the most challenging of my young life. A lot of things happened, good, bad or indifferent I’m grateful for this year to come to a close. We all lived this year, but we must remember we survived it as well.
I went through a lot of personal changes this past year that have made me grown in ways I never dreamed I’d be able to do. The past year alone I fought with my own depression and anxiety to the point my thoughts were becoming plans of how to take my own life. I fantasized the different ways I could do it so that maybe the pain and suffering would end. I didn’t think I had anyone to turn to, I myself had been come a local advocate for suicide prevention, raising money for crisis services, but didn’t think I was worth the fight to save. We are always tougher on ourselves, but I didn’t think I’d ever feel “normal”. In 2016 I have gone to the crisis unit twice, and both times showed me the true meaning of humility.
This year taught me how to be humble, grateful, and show myself my back bone exist. By opening up about my insecurities, vulnerabilities, I was able to help take back the power I thought I never had. All along I had this power that my own head was trying to diminish every chance it could. I’m human, I’ll make mistakes, and it will be ok.
I never had heard of the book or movie called “The Secret”, look it up, because that movie saved me mentally more times than I can count. The whole point of the movie is to teach us the meaning of “The Law of Attraction”. Essentially whatever you put out into this world/universe you will get it in return. I constantly wanted to complain, be negative or never have faith in myself. After watching this, I was able to redirect my negative thoughts for positive ones. Last year I was working a dead end job, in a broken car on it’s death bed, and overall walked around like a nutcracker solider that needed to be wound up. Instead of making things make me happy, I had to learn I am in charge of my own happiness, and I didn’t need anyone to turn that crank.
Now the end of this year of changing to a positive mind, I began a new job in my dream career field, I bought the dream car of my 16 year old self, and now show gratefulness every chance I get.
As the quote above put’s it perfectly, 2016 will forever be the turning of a chapter in my book, and becoming the strongest version of myself after being my weakest. We all are survivors, it’s ok to not be ok, but don’t let the darkness of 2016 take you out.
Because honestly we have lost way too many great people in this year alone, you deserve the shot to share your own story, since no one will be able to tell it better than you.
You are worth the fight, find the light wherever it may be. Never stop giving life one more day.
Good Bye 2016